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Through the Past Brilliantly (June 26) – The Morning Sun

By on June 26, 2021 0

He came to dance on the water
With his galleons and his guns
In search of the new world
And the palace in the sun
He came to dance on the water
Cortez, Cortez
What a killer. . .

– Neil Young from “Cortez the Killer”

About nothing but vinyl that I have spinning on my turntable. In my glass? A few fingers of Irish Gargle Busker Triple Cask. Thus equipped and full of confidence, let’s go.

Before we wrap up today, maybe we can continue telling the story and musical styles of Lansing’s fabulous Harris Tweed. In the meantime, I have a patchwork of topics I want to cover first, including a few things related to last week’s column on Deb and my 42nd wedding anniversary.
I ran out of space before I could get this far.
First off, for you newlyweds wondering how to stay married for at least four decades, here’s a big secret to success: don’t divorce. I mean not without a damn good reason.
Then for you guys marry a girl you find amazingly beautiful. I’m aware of how superficial this sounds, but it worked for me. This is also the recipe for making cute babies.
Third, start deep in love and stay that way. I distilled the essence of our relationship until this, after 42 years, I adore her and she tolerates me.
Finally, learn to communicate effectively. Most of our communication these days is shouting “What? To each other from different rooms of the house.
So the lesson ends.
Then I start a new segment, which I initially call “Don Complains About Stuff”. Perhaps a more appropriate handful would be “stuff that claims to be cool but is actually a selfish royal pain.”
In these first two cases, I will refrain from naming the companies up front, but you will know who they are.
The first is a national fast food chain that offers to give away “a free small order of fried fries” every time the Detroit Tigers score three or more points in a baseball game. For the past several years, this was whenever the Tigers hit three or more home runs, but as it happened as often as the return of Halley’s Comet, the company, in a moment of largesse, changed this season in any type of circuits. Hooray.
First, it is only at “participating” franchises in the Detroit area. What, no Tigers fans in Alpena? Then you have to spend time and money collecting your half penny of potatoes. On top of that, they know that if you go to the trouble of picking up the fries, you will more than likely buy a sandwich or whatever. Thanks a load of pants, guys.
The last one is my favorite, that is to say the worst.
It’s a household product chain that constantly sings that you can “save a lot of money” there. Is that so? Here is the deal. A sale price, say 11% on everything, is advertised except when you make a purchase, you pay full price. To benefit from the discount, you must send it.
You must first pick up your reimbursement certificate at the service counter or print it
online on the company’s website. Then you need to mail the certificate along with the rebate receipt located at the bottom of your purchase receipt.
Then you get your 11% back, right?
NO! After 6-8 weeks, you receive a “Merchandise Credit Check” in the mail which you can only redeem at one of their physical stores, not even online. Finally, by submitting this rebate form, you agree to resolve any dispute related to the rebate redemption by binding arbitration and you waive any right to file or participate in a class action lawsuit. Terms and conditions available at www.rebateinternational.com

It looks like a procedure designed for customer satisfaction. Lord. It may not seem that expensive to some, but like almost everything except eating, drinking, listening to music, or sleeping I tend to get bored these days when I buy an advertised markdown I want to pay the price for it. sale immediately.

OK, not enough space for the Harris Tweed. Next week. And if you have any pet peeves, email me the details.

And so on.

Don Negus writes a weekly column for the Morning Sun. Email: [email protected]: